Tuesday, December 28, 2010


Miles: 2.0
Elevation Gain:  350 Feet
Time: 1.5 Hour
Difficulty (1-10):  10
Reward (1-10): 0
Description: Feeling Lost
Where?: Ventura, CA
Directions: Undisclosed

**MY 43 DAY SUMMARY:  150.25 Miles  +22,425 Feet**

Yesterday morning before jumping on the 101 to go to work, I went back to the spot.  I retraced my footsteps again in search for the ring, but there was no glory.  After work, I came home, searched around a few awkward places and then went back to the spot again.  Same result; no shinning ending.

Let’s make this clear now, so there is no speculation to the contrary.  I did not intentionally lose my ring.  I think those who may speculate to this effect have been wormed with asinine thoughts from a previous cataclysm.  I wore my ring everywhere I went, with pride and heart.  Every moment I was constantly being reminded of who I am and what I stood for.  Typing this letter, my ring would be hitting the letter “q” right now and the extra weight was felt and adjusted for.. see, that “Q” was meant to be a “W”…

I tap my hand on my desk, and it would clank, not slap.  At night against the bed frame while I was grabbing my pillow, a thud would echo.  Driving my car and holding my hand out the window, my ring finger was always bent, just in case.  Washing my hands and especially drying them, I always tried to squeeze my ring tighter so it wouldn’t fall off.  I should have been proactive, I should have gotten it resized, but I didn’t…

To Jess: All I ever wanted was a wife, kids, dog and home.  Of course I dreamt of more; riches, low key fame, purpose and so on, but I am not ashamed with what I have and would never think about changing the past.  I am here now because of what has happened.  I am here now because I allow it, you allow it and this is where I am supposed to be.  I’ve been on that lonely hike before and it always results in despair.  Walking wounded, wandering around the wilderness aimlessly becomes catatonic.  It only works with support.  Your harmony injects my stride with a smile.  

Losing this ring has seriously awakened me.  It was about 7 years ago when Ayden was a little lad that I tried to hike 30 miles, +5000 feet over a three day period.  Well, I made it, but I was senseless.  It was not enjoyable.  I was not with Jess then and I realized that I could never do this walk alone.  She doesn’t have to physically be with me while I’m on these excursions.  All I need is her support, and I will conquer every trail, every account at work and every obstacle in life to the best of my ability with no regret, remorse or excuse.  The last couple of days, I was dragging my feet.  To conclude yesterday’s hiking adventure I walked the dogs around my block.  Ok, so this isn’t really a hike, or is it?  I ended up climbing at least 350 feet so you have to give me that one.  I did this late to keep qualified for my 1000 days.  Although I did technically hike “the spot” earlier, if I had not done more, I would have been repetitive.  I took some pictures and I will post them on Facebook, when I get around to it. 

I feel quite a bit better now and I am sorry for my careless act.  It sucks not wearing a ring.  UGH! 

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